SELF LOVE?!

Loving yourself is one of the hardest things to ever accomplish in our life. It is something that people complain is not taught about in school, but what are they supposed to teach you? Loving yourself is a hard process and an individual process, you cannot teach someone how to love themselves, they need to do it themselves in their own time and their own way.

During my high school years, I wasn't a big fan of the way I looked so I made sure my personality was A1, and even when I look back at pictures of myself I laugh and think to myself, "what a mess I was". But I was still happy, my looks, though they weren't amazing, it never made me deeply unhappy nor did I ever 'hate' myself. I didn't like it too much but during high school I never took it to heart to the point where I thought I had to change the way I looked. Not to be big headed, but I’m hilarious and a nice person so my personality beats my looks, and that's a good thing I think.

However, having reached college and university years, I have taken a liking into makeup and fashion, I do prefer looking than doing (my makeup skills to this point could do with a lot of work) but I want to start properly getting into fashion and learning how to perfect my makeup. My skills aren't terrible, they're decent considering I don't wear too much and haven't been wearing it for long. Having said this, due to my new interests, I have finally chosen to start losing weight so I can feel happier about myself. My new year’s resolution was to lose weight and I am glad to say I have stuck to it at the most part. I am not losing it because of comments other people have made, I am not doing it for society, or for the benefit of other people. I am doing this for me. I want to feel amazing and beautiful in my own skin. I'm content with how I looked then and how I look now. I used to dislike the way my body looked because I couldn't pull of some looks and couldn't wear certain types of clothes. But that didn't stop me from loving myself. I feel proud and happy to say I've never been at rock bottom with my self-esteem, I have always been okay with it, but this year, it has rocketed. I'm that girl that captions my own pictures with 'my best friend looks ace' because I am my best friend, I will never find another like me.

I feel like loving yourself is a weird concept to understand, to love yourself is to be content and happy with your body and your mindset and your thoughts and your feelings. Everyone has their bad days when their hair isn't working, or you're breaking out with spots or you feel as though you look bloated. But that's simply a blip, it's a rock in the road, you need to step over it and keep going. Being at the point where you truly love yourself, is exhilarating, it's beautiful, it's fascinating. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I look great, my body looks good, my hair looks good too' is truly mesmerising. Having able to have that satisfaction about yourself is a feeling you can never top. I also truly believe that you deserve the love in which you give out to other people. Loving others and having them love you just as equally is amazing.

Self-love is a hard process as I’ve previously mentioned. It is so so hard to be able to look at yourself and point out things you like rather than pointing out flaws. But you must think to yourself that you are beautiful, and you are good enough, and you are worth so much more than you can imagine. The journey to loving yourself is the most personal, the most independent and the most difficult journey any one can have. Especially with young girls and boys who are being heavily influenced with what they see on Instagram, Twitter and other social media platforms, they aren't perfect, models aren't perfect, a lot of models themselves say that most of their photos are photoshopped or edited. Therefore, looking at other people should not in any way, shape or form give you the chance to dislike yourself and 'hope' you look more like them, because nobody looks the way you do (unless you're an identical twin), nobody thinks like you, nobody is as beautiful in the way you are.

I asked a couple of my friends to tell me what they love the most about themselves and it truly broke my heart when some said they couldn't think of anything. But when I look at them, I see pure perfection, I see a beautiful young woman educating herself and making a name for herself. When I look at my family and friends I feel so lucky that God has blessed me with these wonderful people. Sometimes, I wish people would look at themselves the way I see them. There is never ever someone who is truly ugly or not worthy, everyone is beautiful in their own damn way be that their looks or traits of personality. Everyone is beautiful in some way, and everyone deserves the chance to be able to love themselves.

However, there is a mental part to loving yourself too. It's so complex when you're utterly down and not happy in your skin that your brain begins to dislike its body, and to get back up after that, I cannot imagine how hard it is. I have mentioned the journey of self-love and my journey took me from year 9 (aged 14 I think) to now (aged 19) to truly feel happy with myself, some people take a lot longer than 5 years to find their self-worth. Some people have a bigger battle with themselves before they can love themselves.

I hope you all have a lovely week, stay safe and stay blessed my friends.